Trusting my Intuition!

I am clearly seeing now that although I thought I trusted my intuition, and I do, I haven't been accessing it at all for how to set up my financial plan!

Intuition is awesome if you use it!  I can't believe I didn't see this before.  I always follow my intuition in other areas of my life and it worked out successfully, but somehow with finances, I just stayed overwhelmed and haven't been able to see a way out.

There is one big area in my life that I've had a major success.  And that is with weight loss.  I didn't need to lose tons and tons of weight, but I did need to lose 30 pounds and it took me 3 years. 

Now I have it off and have kept it off since August. 

I tried for years to do these complicated plans and write everything down and just overwhelm myself with 'how to do it'... but what ended up working was just aiming to lose 3 pounds at a time, writing NOTHING down and maintaining that... for as long as I needed to, till I felt like I could lose 3 more through portion control and exercise.  Finally at the end, I gave up bread (for the most part) and lowered my carb intake, but not by writing it down... just by not putting bread or heavy carbs in my mouth and not worrying about it...

I think I need to approach finances in the same way I approached weight loss.

I need to SIMPLIFY this.  I have fully forgiven myself for being scatterbrained.  But the truth is I am NOT scatterbrained... its fear that makes me feel scatterbrained. 

It turns out that I just haven't been using my God given intuition to make decisions that I can trust.  Once I just do that and know that I am making God given intuitive decisions that are trustworthy, suddenly I don't feel scatterbrained anymore.

My intuition right now is telling me that its perfectly fine to not pay a bill (right now) in order to keep some air in my account...   And that just feels right.  This is not normally how I do it.  Normally I send in all my money to all the people to avoid the fear of owing money. 

Well my intuition says its ok to owe some money while I let my bank account get colored and full of breath... :) 

I didn't know my bank account is lungs.  Hey... my bank account is lungs!  I need to fill it with air! 

My intuition is telling me to simplify.  Things become overwhelming when you add more steps and tasks  associated with that thing.

For instance, envelopes is such an awesome idea, but in reality, that means on payday I have to walk to the bank, then I have to withdraw cash, then I have to make sure its in the right amounts, then I have to fill those envelopes with cash, then I have to use just what is in those envelopes and not cheat.   Sorry... not happening.

Writing things down NEVER works for me in the long term.  Writing things down is too many tasks already.

The idea I'm getting is to have my paycheck split between 3 bank accounts (for which I have a seperate debit card)  Food, Shelter and Clothing.  And thats it.  (oh and a savings account too, but thats later, next steps)

If I use a debit card, I don't have to write things down... computers do it for me and the bank even organizes my finances with categories now. 

I will only carry the debit card on me for Food and Clothing.  The shelter debit card will stay at home, because that isn't something I want access to.  In fact, I probably won't even get a debit card for the Shelter account.  This will keep me able to see easily how much I have left to spend for food without dipping into my shelter money.

This keeps me from having to do any tasks at all.  Its all done for me. 

The savings portion will be done the same way I lost weight.  hmmm... I think I'll make it $11 dollars at a time. :)  11 is my lucky number.

I am going to save $11 dollars a paycheck.  Once I get used to SAVING it and not dipping into it, perhaps I'll up it.  But $11 doesn't seem too hard and I think I can do it.

I trust that I'm going to succeed now.  I really do.

So If Its About Trust...

If overcoming my fear of wealth (different from success) is about trusting myself more... I thought that maybe I should look up the meaning of the word.

I haven't looked up the word "Trust" in the dictionary for a long time.  Sometimes I like to do that with words I use all the time.

Pronunciation:  /trʌst/

Forms:  α. ME–15 truste, ME– trust; β. ME–16 trost, ME troste. See also traist n., trest n.¹, trist n.¹... (Show More)

Etymology:  Early Middle English trost(e, truste, < Old Norse traustn. neuter: see trust adj.(Show More)

 1.

Thesaurus »

 

 a. Confidence in or reliance on some quality or attribute of a person or thing, or the truth of a statement. Const. in (†of, on, upon, to, unto).

So its about confidence huh... confidence and reliance.  Reliance on an attribute.

I went to e-how to see how one goes about building trust within oneself:

http://www.ehow.com/how_2105384_trust-yourself.html

E-how mentions practicing forgiving yourself.  I do get frustrated with myself for designing financial plans that I don't stick to.  I feel like I'm constantly searching for the 'perfect' financial plan that I'll do like a robot everytime I get paid, then I'll magically have numbers in my bank account and feel calm and good all over.

But I always seem to forget what I'm doing.  I'm mad at myself for being so scatterbrained.

Perhaps forgiving myself for being scatterbrained is where I'm at.

In order to trust myself more, to overcome my fear of wealth, I need to forgive myself for being scatterbrained.

Cool.

Happy New Year and Hello...

Hello World,

First of all, lets get this out of the way:

Who:  Me, Kristina
What:  A blog to help me overcome my fear of wealth in 90 days
When:  From today to March 31 (and beyond if I feel like it)
Why:  To overcome my fear of wealth inspired by a session with my hypnotherapist Ginger
Where:  Right here on blogger
How:  I clackety clack on this here thing with buttons and letters and click other buttons and then I suppose that's how

I had no idea I had a fear of wealth.  Even hearing those words and/or reading them seems pretty absurd to me.  Why would I be afraid of wealth.  Well, after my session of hypnotherapy with Ginger yesterday, I found out that I will need to overcome it in order to prosper this year and beyond.  I definately want to prosper... Prospering rules!

Exposing this fear is what helps it disappear, hence the blog.  I don't really expect anyone to read it, but if you happen upon it, I hope you at least find the process entertaining.  I will have fun doing this.  I have fun doing everything... even overcoming fears.

Key Stuff to Remember

Here is a list of what I'm supposed to remember from my session yesterday:

• Wealth is to be thought of as something that just 'is' such as a color, or air.  It is in me, outside of me, above me and below me, its all around me at all times and cannot go away.
• Writing down the questions as to why I don't want to be wealthy will help me see how absurd they are and change my course.
• Fear of wealth is passed down to me from my family, but its OK to be the trailblazer to make this a thing of the past.
• Overcoming my fear of wealth exists in trusting others at a 10 and not just a 7.  It's in trusting others from 7-10 that I'll conquer this fear.

The Color of Wealth

I immediately saw green because that is the color everyone gives wealth, but when I thought about it more, I thought I'd rather have wealth be yellow and orange in my mind.  I'm not sure why.  But I did realize that as it currently stands, I have a lot of negative worry around money and the word wealth.  Everytime I get paid, I have to give it all away to all the people and companies I owe money to, and I'm left with very little to actually buy food and gas.  This is annoying.  This sometimes makes me lose sleep at night and then I'm tired the next day.

So if wealth is a color, its something I can't make not exist.  Before yesterday, I thought of wealth as something I had for about 10 minutes after payday.  Then I had to send it on its merry way to all the other people who lay claim to it.  Then its gone.  And I don't have it anymore.

This is such a fascinating concept to me because its true.  No matter how much money I have or how much I got paid, wealth exists somewhere in the world whether I have money or not.  I cannot MAKE wealth go away.  I have a feeling this mindset will change how I look at things and I don't know what it will do, but I am excited to find out.  Especially if it turns out that overcoming my fear of wealth in the next 90 days will allow more of the wealth that naturally exists find itself comfortable with me and hanging out in my bank account.

The other thing I realized today is that even if I don't have money, I'm surrounded by wealth.  The things I have, the relationships I have, the gorgeous kids I have... that is also wealth.  Wealth isn't just money.  It is a big part though.

The Key Question

Why would I not want to be wealthy?

All the Reasons that Pop into My Brain

• Because I'll blow money
• Because I'll give too much of it away to other people
• Because I'll lose it somehow
• Because it will make others ask too much of me
• Because I'll go crazy
• Because I'm already 38 and not very good at managing what i have
• I don't deserve it
• I'll have to move
• I'll feel guilty not giving more to charity
• Its just easier having what I know and leaving my comfort zone is weird
• I don't want to lose track of the things that matter more, like love
• I feel like my integrity is defined and proven by being happy without much
• I feel like my character is wrapped up in this identity of being very accepting in spite of being totally broke

Ok, wow, those are a lot of reasons.  I recently read a book that really made a difference for me.  Its by Noah St. John and its called The Secret of Success or something like that.  He invented afformations and those are questions you ask yourself to change your assumptions.  I'm loving afformations because they really help me.  I'm going to come up with some to change my brain.  Its like surgery... without blood. :)

Afformations

Why am I so good with my decisions about how to spend money?
Why am I so balanced and confident when it comes to spending money?
Why am I so good at managing my money?
Why do other people respect me and my money so much?
Why am I so sane with money?
Why do I feel so deserving of wealth?
Why am I able to make choices so confidently about my home and plans?
Why am I so balanced in my giving?
Why is moving out of my comfort zone so comfortable? (hahaha... gotcha)
Why am I so able to manage money and love and keep my values in tact?
Why am I defined by my actions, not the money in my bank account?
Why am I defined by my actions, not the money in my bank account?

Trust

Just shining the light on the little unknown lack of trust I had in myself and my boyfriend is enough to move me to more. 

I am excited to write this blog and share my journey (yeah i just said journey lol) with anyone who happens to read this.

Toodles and Happy New Year!!